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No doubt most of you in the livestock business have a certain “family affection” for the fast food chains. Particularly those restaurants whose main attraction is the often disguised but still All American hamburger. It also is true that each of us has his own particular favorite. Organizations like the National Restaurant Association have attempted surveys to compare the merits of each burger. Readers, you will be pleased to know that the Coyote Cowboy Co. (me) has conducted its own sur...
When beef gets short, a lot of cowboys are forced to do without. The cook must come up with meatless meals. The following recipes are from the Cowboy Vegetarian Cookbook. TENNIS SHOE TONGUE: Select an old one. The price is better and it may have picked up some natural flavor depending on where it has been worn. Boiling is suggested but it may also be fried to a crisp and served on a bed of marinated sweat shirt. Garnish with pickled shoe string. SEED CORN CAP PIZZA: Carefully clean with a fish s...
McGraw posed an interesting question. If a cowboy herds a herd of cattle, we call him a herder. If a sheepman herds a flock of sheep, he’s still a herder. Why isn’t he called a flocker? Oley has always referred to himself as a cow disturber. I think that is an accurate description of what cowboys do. The definition of disturb is: to annoy or disrupt. “Where ya goin’, Bill?” “I’m gonna go check the cows.” Which really means, “I’m gonna ride into the bunch, git’em all up, turn’em around and ju...
I confess to not owning a tractor. I have plenty of friends nearby with tractors. But in a lapse of good judgment I borrowed one to brush hog a patch of weeds. Experienced farmers, even an 8 year-old farm kid knows that you always drive a tractor thumbs up. I didn’t remember. As I was farming around I managed to hit a post with the front wheel. The steering wheel spun like a helicopter blade and jammed my protruding thumb! It swelled up so big it wouldn’t fit through the neck of a quart jar...
Christmas is the most joyful of seasons for Believers…when publicly we are closest to God…birth of Christ. It is also a time when we can open our hearts and remember the “second great commandment” as mentioned in Matthew 22:39, ‘Love thy neighbor as thyself.’ Sometimes that’s hard to do. Years ago I received a call from a close friend. He was excited because I was coming to his town to put on a cowboy poetry performance. I looked at my calendar and told him it was a mistake, I WAS NOT booked th...
He got his first horse at Christmas this year from good ol’ Uncle Stephen. For Wrangler-in Charge, he looked pretty young but looks can be deceivin’. He topped out his bronc ‘fore cook lit the fire with lots of loud Ty Yi’ in’ And if he laid off or slighted the horse it weren’t for lack of tryin’. He rope broke him quick and taught him to back and hold tight any bad actor. No critter escaped the reach of his loop; Pooh, Big Bird or the tractor. They covered the range from sofa to rug and ruled t...
Everybody has a Christmas that stands out in their memory like dandruff on Superman’s cape! Mine was several years ago. Bah Humbug Bill, the cow buyer made a deal on a set of cows down below Snowville. Leroy, Tom and I were to go down, work’em and ship’em back home. Bah Humbug set it up for December 23. He, of course would not be able to be there to help. Leroy and Tom were both members of the Owyhee County Sheriffs Possum. We borrowed Albert’s new blue pickup and headed out. Leroy was raised...
Diana, goddess of the hunt, stands as a Roman heroine to a long line of female hunters. Even today there are many who have followed in her spoor that deserve to have their name written in mythology. Our Diana, we’ll call her Center-Fire Charlotte, is well known for her prowess up and down Hyde Creek in the high and wild country of central Idaho. The legend goes that one morning Charlotte was on her way to work in town when she spotted a bunch of does grazing by the reservoir. She climbed out o...
For some reason this Thanksgiving, I’m thinking of sheep. The sheep industry is havin’ a fair year. One factor is lamb being included and advertised in specialty dog food. The sheepman’s equivalent market to fast food burgers. How to strengthen the market, you ask? Breed more dogs, you say? Or get humans in Canada and the U.S. to eat more sheep and wear more wool? So how do you get people to buy more lamb? You either change the people or change the product. We are living in a time of unima...
We all have great memories of ‘the best party’. I had a party. It lasted 48 hours. I lost my socks, my dignity, two days of my life, six ping-pong balls and four pounds. I broke my G-string, achieved a new “personal best” and learned to dog paddle in a bathtub full of beer. The occasion for this all-out, climb the walls, cowboy shindig was in celebration of my new book. The party honored the world’s best cowboy cartoonists who contributed cartoons for the book. We gathered under one roof some of...
One of the most important traits of a good feedlot manager is the ability to assign blame. That is the reason they often employ consulting vets and nutritionists. It keeps them from having to fire regular employees. Unfortunately it also pits the vets against the nutritionist in their everlasting battle to decide whether a problem is “nutritional” or “medical”. The feedlot manager sat across the desk from his nutritionist of the month and his Vet de Jour. He spoke, “I’ve been looking at...
The sea level is rising. We are in an “interglacial period” within the Pleistocene Ice Age, according to the learned. It has been melting ice for the last ten thousand years. So, we miniscule Earthlings are fighting an uphill battle. To put it in perspective, most of us are not worrying about the inexorable melting of icebergs for the next 100, 1,000, or 10,000 years. That’s not necessarily good, it’s just the truth. The majority of meteorologists agree the sea is rising. They don’t all agree on...
Life has always been a balancing act between the haves and have-nots. Less populated industrial countries use the major portion of fossil fuel while third world countries still farm by hand and recreate. The world population is expected to increase by a billion every upcoming decade. If we could snap our fingers and by magic, make some change that might save the earth from its inhabitants, what would we do? “Birth control,” said Steve. “You mean anything?” asked J.D. “Yup . . .” I said. “I’d tra...
Mankind from prehistory to space exploration has always depended on animals for help in their quest for advancing civilization. Granted, often as bait or as guinea pigs, but we have depended on them, nonetheless. After extensive research of my cerebral micro files I’ve discovered several remarkable case histories that have affected the course of our world. For instance, Admiral Perry carried a Canadian goose on his Arctic trek to find the North Pole. Whenever the magnetic field messed up his c...
I was just about to cull the cow when the boss sees me swingin’ the gate. “Hold it there, Doc, for a minute yet, ‘cause I’ve not quite decided her fate. There’s somethin’ about this gypsy cow. She’s a world class travelin’ machine. She must have more frequent flyer miles than the crew on Apollo 13. She’s seen more country than Lewis and Clark, more dogs than the Moorman’s feed man. She showed up one time with a trucker and a sale barn tag from Japan. Neighbors, sheriffs and folks I don’t know ca...
To: Residents of Mt. Ararat School District Ref: Noah, visionary and livestock hauler recently returned from an exotic cruise, will be holding his first apré cruise yard sale. Many items will be offered to tickle your nautical or agricultural fancy. All sales final, not guaranteed against mildew. Included in the sale: -Approx. 2400 cages (wire, wicker, horsehair, iron, rope, screen, etc.) - Lots of salt blocks -Adjustable nose tongs (fits both water buffalo, hippo and elephant) -1.2 million...
Harold has been dismantling his feedlot. He built it over 40 years ago and eventually achieved a 30,000 head capacity. You can imagine the accumulation of steel, rubber, railroad ties, nails, car bodies, pipe, chains, wire, horseshoes and baler twine. He has completed most of the hauling off and is ripping the ground that has been packed like road bed. He’s planted it to millet. He is returning the land to its natural state. Harold’s reason for razing the feedlot is, of course, urban enc...
